1 00:00:11,865 --> 00:00:14,679 - Can you pass the... - I knew you'd bring it up! 2 00:00:16,690 --> 00:00:18,911 You just couldn't wait to throw it in my face. 3 00:00:18,913 --> 00:00:20,259 - Throw what in his face? - I don't even know what... 4 00:00:20,335 --> 00:00:21,509 Oh, right. 5 00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:22,667 Ooh, tell me, tell me, tell me. 6 00:00:22,669 --> 00:00:23,914 I'm missing something. Gossip. Go, go, go! 7 00:00:23,916 --> 00:00:24,888 Do not tell her. 8 00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:26,934 Your secret is safe with me. 9 00:00:27,030 --> 00:00:29,050 And Grace. So, last night, 10 00:00:29,146 --> 00:00:30,589 Jack and I were at the Cockpit. 11 00:00:30,685 --> 00:00:32,110 He's hitting on this 20-something who says... 12 00:00:32,186 --> 00:00:33,244 this is the good part... 13 00:00:33,340 --> 00:00:35,629 Oh, daddies love me. 14 00:00:46,267 --> 00:00:48,441 I'm sorry. 15 00:00:48,537 --> 00:00:49,748 Really, Grace? 16 00:00:49,845 --> 00:00:50,864 Peekaboo sleeves? 17 00:00:50,961 --> 00:00:54,385 Aren't you begging someone to just peek and then boo? 18 00:00:54,462 --> 00:00:56,251 Oh, so this other young guy 19 00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,482 starts hitting on me... 20 00:00:57,578 --> 00:00:58,886 I hope this doesn't weird you out, 21 00:00:58,964 --> 00:01:00,328 but I think you're really hot. 22 00:01:01,502 --> 00:01:03,945 You're like an anchorman. 23 00:01:04,041 --> 00:01:07,293 This just in: Aww. 24 00:01:07,388 --> 00:01:09,216 Oh, you're sweet. Okay, I think I need to know 25 00:01:09,312 --> 00:01:11,468 everything about you, okay? What's your behind-the-music? 26 00:01:11,544 --> 00:01:14,872 What's your unsolved mystery? What's your "E! True Hollywood Story"? 27 00:01:14,968 --> 00:01:16,449 Well, my name's Will. 28 00:01:16,546 --> 00:01:18,565 I'm a partner in a law firm. Grew up in Connecticut... 29 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:19,989 Oh, my God! Do you know this song? 30 00:01:20,085 --> 00:01:21,201 Wait, I'm so sorry. I'm the rudest. 31 00:01:21,277 --> 00:01:22,874 ♪ I have no words, ADHD ♪ 32 00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:24,721 Hey, come on. 33 00:01:24,817 --> 00:01:26,568 I'm sorry, Jack. I guess some people 34 00:01:26,664 --> 00:01:28,771 age like an anchorman 35 00:01:28,773 --> 00:01:31,800 and others like a meth-head mother of nine. 36 00:01:31,896 --> 00:01:34,185 To reiterate, anchorman. 37 00:01:34,282 --> 00:01:36,205 Meth-head mom. 38 00:01:37,244 --> 00:01:39,265 I used to love the Cockpit. 39 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,841 Remember how they used to play 40 00:01:40,938 --> 00:01:42,784 "Designing Women" on a loop, and then we'd applaud 41 00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:44,189 after Dixie Carter's speech? 42 00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:45,930 "And that is the night 43 00:01:46,041 --> 00:01:47,882 the lights went out in Georgia!" 44 00:01:51,672 --> 00:01:53,575 Why'd I stop going? 45 00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:55,672 Oh, I remember. 46 00:01:57,096 --> 00:01:59,386 I got tired of you introducing me 47 00:01:59,482 --> 00:02:01,463 as your drag queen friend, 48 00:02:01,837 --> 00:02:03,983 "Judy Ism." 49 00:02:08,792 --> 00:02:11,158 Mm. I didn't. 50 00:02:11,254 --> 00:02:12,890 Anyway, it's probably not a great time to tell you 51 00:02:12,892 --> 00:02:15,159 that I'm seeing that 23-year-old tonight. 52 00:02:15,256 --> 00:02:17,540 His name's Blake. It's cute, right? 53 00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:19,922 It's not cute. You're not cute. 54 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,719 Look, I just didn't want you to have to read about it 55 00:02:22,796 --> 00:02:24,624 in the monthly gay newsletter. 56 00:02:24,721 --> 00:02:26,713 You know, that a really young... 57 00:02:26,806 --> 00:02:29,126 Did I mention he's 23? I think I did. 58 00:02:29,222 --> 00:02:31,529 Anyway, seeing him tonight. 59 00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,973 Blake. 60 00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:36,993 23. 61 00:02:40,417 --> 00:02:43,668 I want you both out of the apartment by the end of the day. 62 00:02:55,768 --> 00:02:57,134 Steam on. 63 00:02:57,230 --> 00:02:58,249 Ah! 64 00:02:58,345 --> 00:02:59,519 Oh, brava! 65 00:02:59,616 --> 00:03:01,943 That alone was worth the 100 grand. 66 00:03:02,039 --> 00:03:03,559 Steam off. 67 00:03:03,655 --> 00:03:05,097 Begging you pardon, ma'am. 68 00:03:05,194 --> 00:03:06,945 Smart shower, what happened to your voice? 69 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,407 It's me, Bridget, ma'am. 70 00:03:09,502 --> 00:03:10,715 Oh, Lord. 71 00:03:10,811 --> 00:03:12,388 Thought the Lucky Charms leprechaun 72 00:03:12,465 --> 00:03:14,139 had crawled up into that thing. 73 00:03:16,467 --> 00:03:18,486 Rosario sent me up. 74 00:03:18,582 --> 00:03:21,756 I'm here to represent the staff. 75 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,450 We'd like a raise. 76 00:03:23,546 --> 00:03:26,584 Give me a break, Mrs. Potato Head. 77 00:03:27,777 --> 00:03:31,644 Rosario said, "Don't leave until the woman 78 00:03:31,739 --> 00:03:33,375 pays us what we're worth." 79 00:03:33,472 --> 00:03:37,569 Did she call me the A-word, the B-word, or the C-word? 80 00:03:37,665 --> 00:03:39,589 Yes, ma'am. 81 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,360 Even a small raise would make us feel valued, 82 00:03:44,362 --> 00:03:46,918 and to give us a shred of dignity. 83 00:03:47,014 --> 00:03:48,611 Let me think on it. 84 00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:55,997 Have a bill, trade a fish, 85 00:03:56,093 --> 00:03:58,229 Cayman Islands, take a plane, 86 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:01,153 that'd cost... 87 00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:04,693 Switzerland... mmm... 88 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,963 Carry the four, write it off, 89 00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,426 I'm still rich, deal. 90 00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:13,656 You tell Rosario 91 00:04:13,752 --> 00:04:16,196 that you and the staff can have your raise. 92 00:04:16,292 --> 00:04:17,619 Thank you, ma'am. 93 00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:21,351 Everyone deserves a little... dignity. 94 00:04:21,447 --> 00:04:24,768 On your way down, there's some dried puke in the library. 95 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:28,008 And find out who's been reading. 96 00:04:28,104 --> 00:04:30,008 - Hi, Bridget. - Oh, hi, Jackie. 97 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,585 Shame about what happened to you 98 00:04:31,682 --> 00:04:33,913 at the Cockpit last night. 99 00:04:35,451 --> 00:04:37,549 How does Bridget know about my humiliation? 100 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,434 Someone in the house must have told her. 101 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,857 You were the only one who knew. 102 00:04:40,953 --> 00:04:43,397 I'm the someone. 103 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,474 Oh, come on, Jackie. I know just what to do. 104 00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:48,899 In here, you will find everything you need 105 00:04:48,995 --> 00:04:51,283 to make father-time your bitch. 106 00:04:51,379 --> 00:04:53,630 Let's start with this little number, 107 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:54,978 "Scro-tox." 108 00:04:55,074 --> 00:04:57,709 It's like Botox, but for the boys. 109 00:04:57,805 --> 00:04:59,786 One drop of this, and your old man balls 110 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,826 will seem like two shiny pink marbles. 111 00:05:02,922 --> 00:05:05,788 Wait, wait, wait. Will they still be able to show a range of emotions? 112 00:05:05,884 --> 00:05:10,116 Well, they won't be able to look surprised, so let's move on. 113 00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:15,368 Here we have the world's strongest magnets. 114 00:05:15,464 --> 00:05:17,754 One goes here, one goes here. 115 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,293 Guaranteed to take the Mitch McConnell out of anyone's neck. 116 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:22,678 Wow. 117 00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:24,910 Finally, science is good for something. 118 00:05:25,006 --> 00:05:26,217 Mm-hmm. 119 00:05:26,313 --> 00:05:29,296 Now, let's get this Pillsbury Dough-body 120 00:05:29,392 --> 00:05:30,911 back into its tube. 121 00:05:31,008 --> 00:05:32,257 Here we have 122 00:05:32,353 --> 00:05:35,432 a full-body compression garment. 123 00:05:37,394 --> 00:05:39,683 For a fat baby? 124 00:05:39,779 --> 00:05:42,223 For my fat baby. 125 00:05:50,733 --> 00:05:53,561 Will, just table-scape or don't. 126 00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:02,102 - Hey. - Hi. 127 00:06:02,198 --> 00:06:04,969 - You look great. - So do you. 128 00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:08,873 Glad I flossed. 129 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,451 I told you that was the move. 130 00:06:10,547 --> 00:06:11,836 Who's that? 131 00:06:11,932 --> 00:06:12,971 That's Stella. She's my best friend. 132 00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:14,491 Yeah, we live together now, 133 00:06:14,587 --> 00:06:18,030 but how long is that going to last? 134 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:20,492 You'd be surprised. 135 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:23,225 And he's cute. 136 00:06:23,321 --> 00:06:25,398 Looks like my dad. 137 00:06:38,594 --> 00:06:40,961 Stupid magnets. 138 00:06:41,056 --> 00:06:42,979 Ah! 139 00:06:46,618 --> 00:06:47,833 Hello. 140 00:06:47,928 --> 00:06:49,852 Is this seat taken? 141 00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:07,813 Okay, I got your text. 142 00:07:07,909 --> 00:07:09,660 When did we agree that you could summon me 143 00:07:09,756 --> 00:07:13,046 with a dreidel and a jar of horseradish? 144 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:16,938 And when did they start making "emojews?" 145 00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:19,625 Oh, I just wanted to thank you 146 00:07:19,721 --> 00:07:21,510 for redoing my shower. 147 00:07:21,606 --> 00:07:23,356 You've really gone above and beyond, 148 00:07:23,452 --> 00:07:26,145 and I just wanted to say that... 149 00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:29,243 I want a raise. 150 00:07:29,339 --> 00:07:32,282 You mean a mood elevator? 151 00:07:32,378 --> 00:07:34,321 No, honey, a raise raise. 152 00:07:34,417 --> 00:07:36,399 I've been working for you a long time, 153 00:07:36,495 --> 00:07:37,564 and that's what people do. 154 00:07:37,566 --> 00:07:40,438 A raise would show that... that you value me. 155 00:07:40,534 --> 00:07:41,631 You don't need a raise. 156 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:43,862 You're in the top 1% of income 157 00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:45,883 and blood alcohol level. 158 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:50,768 It's not my fault that people can't marry money and hold their liquor. 159 00:07:52,423 --> 00:07:55,019 Give me one good reason why I don't deserve a raise. 160 00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:58,828 You don't do anything! 161 00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:02,060 What's your name? 162 00:08:02,156 --> 00:08:04,138 Lincoln. My mom named me 163 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,832 after our country's greatest car. 164 00:08:06,928 --> 00:08:09,813 You look like a car in need of a jack. 165 00:08:13,045 --> 00:08:15,834 Allow me to intro-seduce myself. 166 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,757 I'm Jack. 167 00:08:17,759 --> 00:08:20,721 - And I think I'm falling for you. - Oh! 168 00:08:20,816 --> 00:08:23,258 Let me get, uh, some wine, and I thought I'd make dinner. 169 00:08:23,354 --> 00:08:24,413 Oh, you cook? 170 00:08:24,510 --> 00:08:26,433 That's so throwback Thursday. 171 00:08:29,895 --> 00:08:31,684 Wow. Are these candles Goop? 172 00:08:31,781 --> 00:08:34,185 I feel like I'm on "The Bachelor." 173 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,994 Well, you know gays and our disposable income. 174 00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:40,745 Didn't have kids, but I raised some very well-adjusted linen pillows. 175 00:08:42,399 --> 00:08:44,593 Are you sad about that? 176 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:49,151 I am now. 177 00:08:49,247 --> 00:08:51,460 Mm. Isn't Madonna kinda tired? 178 00:08:51,556 --> 00:08:53,844 I don't know about "tired." 179 00:08:53,941 --> 00:08:55,615 I mean, it is a pretty great song. 180 00:08:55,711 --> 00:08:58,000 Got me through a bad break-up in '94. 181 00:08:58,096 --> 00:08:59,923 I was born in '94. 182 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,926 I thought we had an understanding. 183 00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,310 You don't do real work, 184 00:09:05,405 --> 00:09:07,311 and I don't pay you a real salary. 185 00:09:07,407 --> 00:09:10,004 Grace, I am getting a little steamed. 186 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,388 Steam on. 187 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,467 You put the steam on? I told you 188 00:09:13,563 --> 00:09:15,006 not to program it yourself. 189 00:09:15,102 --> 00:09:17,237 You wouldn't even have a business without me. 190 00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:18,391 That is so untrue. 191 00:09:18,487 --> 00:09:20,200 Why are the jets so low? 192 00:09:20,296 --> 00:09:22,046 How about all the clients I brought you? 193 00:09:22,142 --> 00:09:24,266 Are you saying that you... 194 00:09:24,359 --> 00:09:26,047 that you don't need me? 195 00:09:26,143 --> 00:09:27,547 Why are we doing this, Karen? 196 00:09:27,643 --> 00:09:29,125 - Just say it. - I'm not gonna say it. 197 00:09:29,221 --> 00:09:30,972 - Say it. - I don't need you. 198 00:09:31,068 --> 00:09:33,202 That is it. We're done. 199 00:09:33,299 --> 00:09:35,742 You won't hear another word. I am locking it up. 200 00:09:35,838 --> 00:09:37,831 Shower locked. 201 00:09:38,390 --> 00:09:39,859 What just happened? 202 00:09:39,956 --> 00:09:42,207 Locking it up forever! 203 00:09:42,302 --> 00:09:44,841 - Stop talking. - Oh, sorry I've been such a drain. 204 00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:46,515 Guess I'll just shut up. 205 00:09:46,612 --> 00:09:47,861 Drain shut. 206 00:09:47,957 --> 00:09:49,131 No, no, no! 207 00:09:49,227 --> 00:09:50,979 Oh, we are at war! It is... 208 00:09:51,075 --> 00:09:52,286 - Don't say it! - On. 209 00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:53,749 Shower on. 210 00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,767 Ow! 211 00:10:04,508 --> 00:10:05,610 I'm on a date. What do you want? 212 00:10:05,612 --> 00:10:06,949 Yeah, I have also got a hot young guy 213 00:10:06,951 --> 00:10:08,661 coming over in five minutes, and I'm so stiff, I can't move! 214 00:10:08,663 --> 00:10:09,958 Well, if it lasts longer than four hours, 215 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,793 - call your doctor. - No! 216 00:10:13,119 --> 00:10:15,324 It's this compression garment that Karen gave me. 217 00:10:15,326 --> 00:10:17,077 I think I'm going into renal failure. 218 00:10:17,173 --> 00:10:20,078 I just sneezed, and some pee came out my nose. 219 00:10:20,174 --> 00:10:21,350 What do you want me to do? 220 00:10:21,352 --> 00:10:22,982 I need your pruning shears so I can cut myself 221 00:10:23,059 --> 00:10:24,579 out of this titanium girdle. 222 00:10:24,675 --> 00:10:25,848 God, if I had a dollar 223 00:10:25,945 --> 00:10:27,146 for every guy that came to my door... 224 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:30,658 Oh, save it for your Netflix special, Jeselnik. Go! 225 00:10:30,754 --> 00:10:34,814 These stupid magnets! Oh! 226 00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:46,950 Gah! 227 00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:51,452 - Okay, I'm going to need these back. - Oh! 228 00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:57,590 On second thought, keep them. 229 00:10:57,686 --> 00:10:59,782 Jack, Jack, Jack, wait. 230 00:10:59,878 --> 00:11:01,359 Is Grace right? 231 00:11:01,456 --> 00:11:03,168 Is it creepy that I'm dating a 23-year-old? 232 00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:05,444 - We're not really connecting. - So what? 233 00:11:05,446 --> 00:11:08,823 They're young and hot, we're old and not. 234 00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,169 Nothing else matters. 235 00:11:10,266 --> 00:11:11,439 He doesn't like Madonna. 236 00:11:11,535 --> 00:11:15,114 He should be beaten with a VHS copy of "Evita." 237 00:11:16,652 --> 00:11:17,749 We need this. 238 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:18,826 You're right. Okay. 239 00:11:18,922 --> 00:11:20,095 Okay. You're good? 240 00:11:20,191 --> 00:11:22,020 - Great. And you're good? - I'm... I'm great. 241 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:23,862 - It's not weird? - It's not weird. Age is a number. 242 00:11:23,864 --> 00:11:26,344 - Exactly. Who cares how old he is? - Nobody. Who cares 243 00:11:26,346 --> 00:11:28,771 if I'm going to put a full face of makeup on right now? 244 00:11:28,773 --> 00:11:30,618 - What? - The first time I met him, 245 00:11:30,694 --> 00:11:31,728 it was dark, and I had a hat on. 246 00:11:31,730 --> 00:11:34,158 - Jack, you don't need makeup. - I told him I was 25. 247 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,332 Work from the neck up 248 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,562 and keep the lights low. 249 00:11:38,274 --> 00:11:39,986 How do we shut this thing off? 250 00:11:40,082 --> 00:11:42,833 You know that I panic in small spaces. 251 00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:45,449 Oh, yeah? Then you might want to rethink those knit pants 252 00:11:45,545 --> 00:11:49,221 you were wearing on Monday. 253 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,220 Who programs "lock it forever" 254 00:11:51,317 --> 00:11:52,336 into a shower? 255 00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:54,145 Oh, come on, Grace. 256 00:11:54,241 --> 00:11:55,357 Like you and Will have never tried 257 00:11:55,434 --> 00:11:57,184 to spice up your lovemaking 258 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:58,915 with a night of danger games. 259 00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:01,455 Oh, my God, honey, that's it! 260 00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:02,762 That's it! 261 00:12:02,858 --> 00:12:04,340 The shutoff code 262 00:12:04,436 --> 00:12:06,186 is Stan and my safe word! 263 00:12:06,283 --> 00:12:08,573 Oh! Oh, oh. 264 00:12:08,669 --> 00:12:10,649 Thank God! 265 00:12:10,746 --> 00:12:12,188 What's your safe word? 266 00:12:15,642 --> 00:12:17,536 I can't remember. 267 00:12:17,632 --> 00:12:20,498 How could you not remember your safe word? 268 00:12:20,594 --> 00:12:22,884 Well, honey, I've never used it. 269 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:24,577 Takes a lot for this little lamb chop 270 00:12:24,673 --> 00:12:25,924 to feel unsafe. 271 00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:27,925 It's... 272 00:12:28,021 --> 00:12:30,387 It's happening. It's happening. 273 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,848 I can't breathe. 274 00:12:31,944 --> 00:12:34,658 I can't breathe! 275 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:36,504 I'm back at Camp Rabat, 276 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,082 trapped under a canoe, 277 00:12:38,178 --> 00:12:40,581 and the counselor is saying, "Where is she?" 278 00:12:40,678 --> 00:12:42,159 And Janet Eisenberg is saying, 279 00:12:42,255 --> 00:12:44,814 "Who cares? It's just gross Adler." 280 00:12:47,103 --> 00:12:49,854 Karen, please! Think! 281 00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:52,086 What was the verkakte safe word? 282 00:12:52,181 --> 00:12:53,817 Well, I know it's something 283 00:12:53,913 --> 00:12:56,472 that really kills the mood for me sexually... 284 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,636 Oh, oh! Sobriety! 285 00:12:58,712 --> 00:12:59,934 No... 286 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,434 Hillary Clinton! 287 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,935 Oh, that's actually kind of a turn-on. 288 00:13:05,032 --> 00:13:06,782 Well, for me, my coming-out 289 00:13:06,878 --> 00:13:08,052 was pretty typical. 290 00:13:08,148 --> 00:13:09,937 My mom cried, my dad drank, 291 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:11,911 and my grandmother got rabies. 292 00:13:11,913 --> 00:13:14,746 Unrelated, but just a rough weekend all around. 293 00:13:14,841 --> 00:13:15,977 That's brutal. 294 00:13:16,073 --> 00:13:17,208 Yeah. How was it for you? 295 00:13:17,304 --> 00:13:18,709 Oh, um... I told my parents 296 00:13:18,804 --> 00:13:21,075 I was gay when I was eight. They were divorced. 297 00:13:21,152 --> 00:13:22,536 They both threw me a coming-out party 298 00:13:22,613 --> 00:13:23,980 on the same weekend. 299 00:13:24,076 --> 00:13:25,999 That was hard. 300 00:13:28,577 --> 00:13:30,784 That's not a coming-out story. 301 00:13:30,786 --> 00:13:34,867 How's James Franco supposed to win the Oscar playing that? 302 00:13:34,963 --> 00:13:36,444 God, is that the new gay? 303 00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:39,176 You guys grow up in a big happiness bubble? 304 00:13:39,272 --> 00:13:41,561 - Isn't that good? - No. It's so nice, 305 00:13:41,658 --> 00:13:42,986 it's practically abuse. 306 00:13:43,081 --> 00:13:44,312 I mean, how's it supposed to get better 307 00:13:44,389 --> 00:13:45,755 if it was always fine? 308 00:13:45,851 --> 00:13:48,256 Are you mad at me because I'm happy? 309 00:13:48,353 --> 00:13:49,449 Yes. 310 00:13:49,545 --> 00:13:51,142 No, I... 311 00:13:51,238 --> 00:13:52,642 Probably. Doesn't matter. 312 00:13:52,739 --> 00:13:54,489 Older guys are so dramatic. 313 00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:56,970 ♪ Which is super-hot ♪ 314 00:13:58,818 --> 00:14:00,106 Does this pull out? 315 00:14:00,202 --> 00:14:01,952 Actually, I have a whole bedroom. 316 00:14:02,048 --> 00:14:04,030 To yourself? 317 00:14:04,126 --> 00:14:05,550 Here's something that will blow your mind: 318 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:09,147 I got my own sheets and pillowcases, too. 319 00:14:09,243 --> 00:14:11,725 Just curious: Um... when you said, 320 00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:14,610 "Older guys are dramatic," what do you mean? 321 00:14:14,706 --> 00:14:16,919 Well, you just... you make a big deal about everything. 322 00:14:17,015 --> 00:14:19,035 You realize the happy life you have 323 00:14:19,153 --> 00:14:22,459 is because we made a big deal about things? 324 00:14:22,555 --> 00:14:25,094 Yeah, Will, I know all about Stonehenge. 325 00:14:29,288 --> 00:14:32,078 Do you mean Stonewall? 326 00:14:32,174 --> 00:14:33,712 I'm actually not quite sure what either one is. 327 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,194 Do you seriously, seriously, not know? 328 00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:38,272 Who cares? So I'm not a history puff. 329 00:14:38,368 --> 00:14:40,810 Okay? 330 00:14:40,906 --> 00:14:42,503 That was a kabillion years ago, okay? 331 00:14:42,599 --> 00:14:44,831 - Everything's good now. - "Who cares"? 332 00:14:44,908 --> 00:14:46,350 Dude, I don't mean to be rude, 333 00:14:46,446 --> 00:14:49,137 but my boner has already called a Lyft. 334 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,893 Okay? Either we're going to hook up, 335 00:14:50,894 --> 00:14:52,660 or you're going to give me a lecture. 336 00:14:52,756 --> 00:14:54,237 You're right. 337 00:14:54,334 --> 00:14:56,700 You're right. And the choice 338 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,431 is obvious. 339 00:14:58,433 --> 00:15:02,048 The history of our people is a rich and complex tapestry. 340 00:15:02,144 --> 00:15:05,011 Come in! 341 00:15:05,107 --> 00:15:06,587 Jack? 342 00:15:06,683 --> 00:15:08,626 Oh, hey, Lincoln. How are you? I'm over here. 343 00:15:08,723 --> 00:15:09,973 Can I turn on a light? 344 00:15:10,069 --> 00:15:11,512 Oh, no, no, no, uh, uh... 345 00:15:11,608 --> 00:15:14,550 Follow the sound of my youthful voice. 346 00:15:17,187 --> 00:15:18,707 All right. I made it. 347 00:15:25,877 --> 00:15:26,868 We were everywhere! 348 00:15:26,870 --> 00:15:29,462 Art, culture, business, politics. 349 00:15:29,464 --> 00:15:33,054 We rightly took Halloween back from the children, 350 00:15:33,742 --> 00:15:37,129 whose costumes simply weren't good enough. 351 00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:39,331 You still with me? 352 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:41,203 Can you go back to the part about the gay dinosaurs? 353 00:15:41,205 --> 00:15:43,282 Like, how would they have known? 354 00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:44,838 I made that part up. 355 00:15:44,934 --> 00:15:48,298 Like, there's no such thing as a "fagosaurus." 356 00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:52,301 And speaking of gay dinosaurs, let's talk Madonna. 357 00:15:52,396 --> 00:15:54,226 Sure, now, she's got the face of Baby June 358 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,648 and the body of Iggy Pop, 359 00:15:56,744 --> 00:15:58,880 but that ripped 60-year-old 360 00:15:58,976 --> 00:16:02,419 was there for us, like nobody else. 361 00:16:02,516 --> 00:16:03,766 Like, it's great 362 00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:05,420 that you have no shame. 363 00:16:05,516 --> 00:16:08,075 I mean, you missed the joy of signing up for football 364 00:16:08,171 --> 00:16:10,780 to fool your parents. 365 00:16:10,782 --> 00:16:13,467 But you guys can never forget the struggle that came before you, 366 00:16:13,469 --> 00:16:15,836 the people that fought and loved and... and died, 367 00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:17,740 so that you could walk down the street in skinny jeans 368 00:16:17,817 --> 00:16:20,980 with rights you never even knew you never had. 369 00:16:21,089 --> 00:16:23,919 The minute we forget what we went through to get here 370 00:16:23,921 --> 00:16:27,262 is the minute it could all be taken away. 371 00:16:27,358 --> 00:16:29,840 And that will be the night 372 00:16:29,936 --> 00:16:33,341 the lights go out in Georgia. 373 00:16:39,554 --> 00:16:42,632 I'm a sperm! 374 00:16:44,979 --> 00:16:48,980 I'm letting go. I'm going now. 375 00:16:58,252 --> 00:16:59,772 You didn't save me! 376 00:16:59,868 --> 00:17:03,426 Where the hell are you going to go? 377 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,966 I know you. You always think the worst is going to happen. 378 00:17:06,062 --> 00:17:08,160 You're going to lose a client, then you don't. 379 00:17:08,255 --> 00:17:09,832 You're going to miss a deadline, then you don't. 380 00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:11,622 You think you can pull off a hat, 381 00:17:11,718 --> 00:17:13,968 but you can't. Honey, you really can't. 382 00:17:14,065 --> 00:17:15,526 I don't know if it's the shape of your head, 383 00:17:15,603 --> 00:17:17,200 or that weird face. 384 00:17:17,296 --> 00:17:18,508 Stop insulting me! 385 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,124 - Why? - It's making me mad. 386 00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:22,797 - But you're not panicked. - No, because you're... 387 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,280 Oh.... 388 00:17:25,376 --> 00:17:27,973 Yeah, mommy's got a few little tricks. 389 00:17:28,069 --> 00:17:31,127 Remember that design showcase in 1999? 390 00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:32,512 I was so nervous. 391 00:17:32,608 --> 00:17:33,821 I was hyperventilating. 392 00:17:33,916 --> 00:17:35,302 Mm-hmm, and then I sang you that song 393 00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:36,822 that calmed you down. 394 00:17:36,918 --> 00:17:40,131 ♪ Hush little baby don't say a word ♪ 395 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:44,209 ♪ Mama's going to buy you ♪ Drugs. 396 00:17:44,305 --> 00:17:48,556 Honey, you remembered the whole thing. 397 00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:51,749 - Feel better? - I do. 398 00:17:51,845 --> 00:17:55,212 I am so sorry, Karen. 399 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,988 I couldn't do what I do without you. 400 00:17:58,149 --> 00:18:01,930 And more importantly, I wouldn't want to do it without you. 401 00:18:02,023 --> 00:18:04,138 Of course you have value to me, 402 00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:06,139 and you deserve a raise. 403 00:18:06,235 --> 00:18:07,908 Thanks, honey. 404 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,139 I guess your validation 405 00:18:09,235 --> 00:18:11,447 was more important than I realized. 406 00:18:11,543 --> 00:18:13,718 Well, you have it. 407 00:18:13,814 --> 00:18:15,872 I love you, Karen Walker. 408 00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:18,219 Right back at you, Grace Adler. 409 00:18:18,316 --> 00:18:19,758 Shower off. 410 00:18:19,854 --> 00:18:22,605 - Wait a second. - Hey! 411 00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:25,798 "Grace Adler" is your safe word? 412 00:18:25,894 --> 00:18:27,106 My name 413 00:18:27,203 --> 00:18:30,876 is your sexual buzzkill? 414 00:18:31,801 --> 00:18:33,223 It's better this way. 415 00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:40,501 Well, we agree, we should probably both 416 00:18:40,503 --> 00:18:42,496 date guys our own age, but, uh, 417 00:18:42,592 --> 00:18:44,880 I think he's going to remember what I said. 418 00:18:44,977 --> 00:18:48,631 You know, until the ♪ ADHD ♪ kicks in. 419 00:18:50,439 --> 00:18:51,863 Mine left the apartment screaming 420 00:18:51,940 --> 00:18:55,019 like Vera Farmiga in "The Conjuring." 421 00:18:57,145 --> 00:18:58,839 I don't want to be a daddy. 422 00:18:58,841 --> 00:19:00,501 I don't want you to age better than me. 423 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:01,963 Oh, come on, Jack. 424 00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:04,117 Everybody knows Twinkies never expire. 425 00:19:04,213 --> 00:19:05,925 Besides, you're a catch. 426 00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:08,792 You will always be a catch, no matter how old you are. 427 00:19:08,869 --> 00:19:11,816 How very, very, very old you are. 428 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,275 It's always a kiss and a punch with you. 429 00:19:13,371 --> 00:19:16,006 Hey, Google, play Madonna. 430 00:19:16,102 --> 00:19:18,790 I want someone that I have something in common with. 431 00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,004 You know, a shared history. 432 00:19:20,006 --> 00:19:21,718 Right? You want to have, like, a shorthand. 433 00:19:21,814 --> 00:19:22,852 Right? Exactly. Do you want a, uh... 434 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,296 Yeah. Diet if you have it. 435 00:19:24,392 --> 00:19:25,872 - Are you, uh... - No, no, we ate. 436 00:19:25,969 --> 00:19:28,142 Yeah, I guess we just have to believe 437 00:19:28,239 --> 00:19:29,566 that person's still out there. 438 00:19:29,662 --> 00:19:31,412 Oh, he has to be. 439 00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:36,106 What are you thinking? 440 00:19:36,202 --> 00:19:38,107 What are you thinking? 441 00:19:38,204 --> 00:19:39,434 That early Madonna's the best. 442 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,839 - That's exactly what I was thinking. - Well, I'm glad we're on the same page.